The Hard Part

I haven't reported in for a while, so here goes:  I have committed to perfect attendance at Weight Watcher's this year. It's going to take some planning, but I have checked in every week so far. If we take our planned cruise in November, I will have to figure that one out! Do cruise ships have Weight Watchers meetings (ha, ha.). They do have AA though in case you need to know that!

 I have lost 7.6 pounds in 2015.  My goal for the year is 50 pounds, which I figure means I need to lose about a pound a week, so I am right on track technically.

I know I'm not on track though. I'm not getting in the exercise sessions I committed to and for the last 2 weeks, I haven't tracked my food. I have enough experience to know where that will land me, so I recommit right now!  Pre-tracking -- logging all my food in order to plan my meals -- seems to work best for me, so I will do that for the remainder of the week.  I have been taking salads for lunch and eating healthfully for the most part, but if I don't sharpen up on activity and tracking, the whole house of cards will fall down.

This is the hard part. The hard part -- and I don't think I'm alone in this -- is not sabotaging myself. Yesterday I did not get all my steps in. I knew it. I considered watching TV from the treadmill, but I didn't do it. There is a "you deserve a break" tape playing constantly in my head. It isn't logical but it's alluring and quiet and constant.

The hard part is making myself weigh in when my friends can't make the meetings. The hard part is weighing in when I wasn't tracking. The hard part is believing I deserve better than what I'm giving myself. The hard part is having faith in me.

I do deserve it so I am going to act like I believe it until I do. You are worth it too.

3 Weeks In

January 24.  This month is flying by. I thought I'd better take a minute to check in on my goals for the year:

I am still not tracking my food so I also don't know if I'm staying in my points allowance. Okay, I admit it, I'm resistant. I will plumb the depths of that resistance a bit later and see what's driving it. Similarly, since I'm not tracking, I'm missing out on the opportunity to see what is behind the eating choices I'm making. Okay, I've convinced myself. I will track today!

I do have perfect attendance at Weight Watcher's so far, and it is paying off, in spite of my lack of attention to tracking. So far, I've lost 4.8# of my 50 lb. goal for this year. 49 weeks and  45.2# to go.

As far as my exercise goals, I'm getting in my  60K steps and then some; now I need to focus on my minimum 1 hour of strength training and working up to 30/min a day of structured exercise.  I got 20 minutes of Dance Party yesterday. I will get 30 minutes of structured exercise today.  My fitbit week starts on Sunday, so that exercise will be strength training plus about 8000 steps to get in today.  I found some great leg presses without machines I will try. (Here's another. And one more.)

My glaring "miss" so far is I still have not gotten my official support partner on board. It's because there's been an awkward silence between us for some time so I need to break that silence. I will do so with an email today. I know that if I had more accountability, I would be hitting more of my goals!

I'm working on my first every self-made workout playlist. The last thing I had that was even close -- try not to laugh -- was a mix tape I made in the early 90's and played on my Walkman! Oh I am so old!  I think getting my playlist will help me get those weekend steps in. 

How is YOUR year going? Are you meeting your goals? What do you think is helping you succeed or getting in your way?

After what shall henceforth be known as "The Valentine Vomiting," I got very off-track.  But first a little history.  The first 10 years after I realized I was fat, I denied I was an emotional eater.  I am not sure why I denied it, but I'm guessing it was shame.  Somehow, intelligent people should not be emotional eaters, right?  Oh pride, how you've ensnared me!

Fast forward about 3 years and I know I'm an emotional eater.  All it takes is a little dis-regulation and I'm snacking.  I don't happen to be someone who purges and even when I go "out of the box," I am saved by the fact that we don't have a lot of my trigger food in the house.  (If you ever see me eating a sandwich, however, please put your arm around my shoulders and say, "What's going on, sweetie?"  Nonetheless, I also have a very efficient metabolism which will come in really handy if I'm ever in a survival situation.  For now, though, it just means I don't lose weight if I don't stick to my plan.

So . . after The Valentine's Vomiting, it took me several days to get back on track.  I gained 3.5 pounds in the several days it took me to re-regulate.  And I realized it wasn't only the Love Day incident that set me on a path of self-destruction.  It happened to coincide with a nasty sinus infection that temporarily rendered me unable to exercise.  I too sick to exercise and do the essential care of my family.  I have learned through all this that when I am not getting to the gym, my motivation to stay "in the box" just goes right down the tube. 

A couple of conversations with my support partners and I am "in the box again."  This time with a little extra motivation and a few coping mechanisms:

• I am going to go to the gym on my regular days even if I can't work at my usual level and just walk gently on the treadmill for 30 minutes. Turns out just getting there is as important as what I actually do!
• I am going to start looking for those outfits I've "pinned" so that when I go down one more size, I can buy them at a good price
• I have set short term goals for April 1 and May 1
• I'm increasing my 3 cardio days to hour-long sessions
• I'm going to talk to a trainer about my circuit routine
• I am going to stick with my current "box"  until April 1, then re-evaluate
• Maintain my "text accountability" program
• When I find myself in front of the pantry with an intention of "snacking," I am going to set a timer for 10 minutes, go to my room, sit in my comfy chair and look at what is really going on!

Will I do all this perfectly?  Probably not.  Yet having a plan means I have a base to come back to if I do get off track.  That said, it's my intention to do it.  This is not only about losing weight to me, in fact, in some ways, that's the by-product.  It is really about me mattering enough to me to treat my body with respect.  And that's motivation.  Have a great weekend.

Tips, Tricks and Friday Inspiration

Woo-hoo another weekend!  Good for the soul -- but will it be good for the body?  My "default" weekend plan is to stay the course but I recently heard an idea that is now in my "back-up plan bag." 

Consider maintaining for the weekend, particularly if you have some type of social event or on holiday weekends.  Why?  Most of us have had the experience of going into the weekend with a vague promise to "be good," making some impulsive poor choice, then throwing the food plan out the window with a vow to start anew on Monday.  The trouble is, this happens weekend after weekend.  Plus, we all know the "weekend" actually starts with Friday lunch.  This is how it looks graphically.

Progress Toward goal Monday through Thursday: 
+ + + +
Back-tracking from goal Friday through Sunday:
- - -
Assuming you do no more damage on the weekend then the progress you made on the other days, you are actually only making progress on ONE day:
+

When I look at it like this, no WONDER I fail to lose some weeks!

If we maintain our weight on the weekend, it looks like this:
++++ = = =
so 4 days net progress, 4 times the results for the week.

I am putting it on my calendar each Friday morning to look at the weekend and make a conscious decision to either lose or maintain.  How about you?

PS:  Here's a link to my favorite article this week - it's on corn syrup.

I'm mad at myself, but no longer pouting. And to be fair to myself, unhappy as I was, I didn't EAT anything while I was mad. I gained BACK the pound I lost last week. Yep. Here are the stats:
Current Weight: 232.8
Weight Last Week: 231.8
Since last week: 1 pound gained

Eating 3
Exercise 5
Motivation 4

Total weight loss this RIVAS: 0 pounds

On Thursday and Friday last week, I did not keep to my eating goals. Both days I ate 300 extra calories, amounting to 1500 each day. On Friday, I got some insight from my support partner and course corrected. And then there was last night. I met a friend to exchange her child and we wound up eating at a chain restaurant. I was not planning to eat with her but it was well past dinnertime. I ordered a cheeseburger. No kidding. The night before my weigh in. It must have been full of salt too because my fingers, toes, ankles - all swollen up today. I'm sorry now. It was a painful lesson. I will take a look at the lifeshock in that moment of decision.

I am acknowledging myself for exercise, however. Last week I managed to get in 3.42 hours but I logged 5.5 this week! I have some sore muscles and sore knees but not as bad as I was worried it would be.

I am headed to England for a course on Monday. What this means is that I will not be able to report in as I don't expect to have computer access until I return at the end of the month. In the past while at these courses I have managed to get in three extra hours of exercise while away (not counting shopping or sight-seeing). I will be gone for ten days so I am going for 5 extra hours of intentional exercise in addition to group exercise, sight seeing, etc. I will of course also watch my calories and stay in my limit; busy and away from home this is usually not a difficulty for me. As long as I avoid tea houses! I'll carry vegetables and fruit onto the plane, as well.