After what shall henceforth be known as "The Valentine Vomiting," I got very off-track.  But first a little history.  The first 10 years after I realized I was fat, I denied I was an emotional eater.  I am not sure why I denied it, but I'm guessing it was shame.  Somehow, intelligent people should not be emotional eaters, right?  Oh pride, how you've ensnared me!

Fast forward about 3 years and I know I'm an emotional eater.  All it takes is a little dis-regulation and I'm snacking.  I don't happen to be someone who purges and even when I go "out of the box," I am saved by the fact that we don't have a lot of my trigger food in the house.  (If you ever see me eating a sandwich, however, please put your arm around my shoulders and say, "What's going on, sweetie?"  Nonetheless, I also have a very efficient metabolism which will come in really handy if I'm ever in a survival situation.  For now, though, it just means I don't lose weight if I don't stick to my plan.

So . . after The Valentine's Vomiting, it took me several days to get back on track.  I gained 3.5 pounds in the several days it took me to re-regulate.  And I realized it wasn't only the Love Day incident that set me on a path of self-destruction.  It happened to coincide with a nasty sinus infection that temporarily rendered me unable to exercise.  I too sick to exercise and do the essential care of my family.  I have learned through all this that when I am not getting to the gym, my motivation to stay "in the box" just goes right down the tube. 

A couple of conversations with my support partners and I am "in the box again."  This time with a little extra motivation and a few coping mechanisms:

• I am going to go to the gym on my regular days even if I can't work at my usual level and just walk gently on the treadmill for 30 minutes. Turns out just getting there is as important as what I actually do!
• I am going to start looking for those outfits I've "pinned" so that when I go down one more size, I can buy them at a good price
• I have set short term goals for April 1 and May 1
• I'm increasing my 3 cardio days to hour-long sessions
• I'm going to talk to a trainer about my circuit routine
• I am going to stick with my current "box"  until April 1, then re-evaluate
• Maintain my "text accountability" program
• When I find myself in front of the pantry with an intention of "snacking," I am going to set a timer for 10 minutes, go to my room, sit in my comfy chair and look at what is really going on!

Will I do all this perfectly?  Probably not.  Yet having a plan means I have a base to come back to if I do get off track.  That said, it's my intention to do it.  This is not only about losing weight to me, in fact, in some ways, that's the by-product.  It is really about me mattering enough to me to treat my body with respect.  And that's motivation.  Have a great weekend.