Monday, June 24, 2013

Strong Start Day

So . . . it was quite a spring. I slogged through February and March, being sick most of the time and just feeling crummy but maintaining my weight despite the fact that I gave up exercise for all of March. Then I had a pre-Easter hospital stay in which I dropped a couple of pounds.Then April and May in which I tried to build up my stamina while adjusting to a new job and new medications. Finally I am "back to normal" in terms of feeling well and managing to lose weight through a little trick but being undisciplined in my eating.

To get through Easter, 5 family birthdays, Mother's and Father's Day, as well as a half dozen "eat out" ball tournaments and a new job, I've simply been eating whatever I want, but half as much as I want to - or would normally - eat, pretty much at every turn. The exception is fruit and vegetables which I eat in full portion.  So if I want a bowl of cereal, I take a tiny half-sized bowl. This is working if my goal is to lose weight. But my true goal is to be healthy . . . which I'd somehow lost sight of . . . so I am returning as of today to my "box."

It dawned on me recently that my inner core of true health has been slipping away. That health has already rescued me once this year, so I don't want to get sloppy about it. It was that core of good health that "saved" me during all my weeks of Afib so it's crazy to not be "minding" it now! As of today, I am also getting back to regular exercise. My cardiologist cleared me for exercise three weeks ago, but I've been scared it will put me back into Afib. But as he says, I've got to get on with my life. I have to start slowly, 15 minutes a day, so today is the day.

In all these months of struggling with having enough energy to do the minimum I needed to do for my family, one thing has become abundantly clear: losing weight, per se, is not what matters most to me. Living is what matters. Being healthy and strong matters. Seeing my kids to their future matters. Having my hubby at my side matters. Having a core of health to support me in the next crisis matters. Weight loss is the means to the ends, not an end in itself.

Happy Strong Start Monday!

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