Monday, November 7, 2011

Willingness and Fear

I did lose weight this week but nonetheless, it's been a tough week.  We started with Halloween then had our first spate of cold weather and ended with a softball tournament.  It was a wonderful week in the life of a family and a very challenging one in the life of weight loss.  Yesterday I ate two donuts.  I know, not the end of the world, but so very definitely not on my plan. 

For me the challenge is all about willingness.  Am I willing to take the extra five minutes to wrassle the jogging stroller into the car so I can squeeze in some exercise while the team warms up?  Am I willing to take time to make my healthy shake while three pre-schoolers are demanding their breakfast?  Am I willing to go outside and take my walk even if it's cold out? 

The list goes on.  It is so easy to convince myself that it will be all right to skip this one workout or eat a donut because I didn't' want to take the 5 minutes to make a shake.  And the truth is that I can do these things but if I do, I'm not keeping my word to myself.  Which raises the question:  Why am I so willing to do things for others but so unwilling to do them for myself?

It boils down to one thing and I don't think the "thing" is fear of failure.  I think it is fear of success.  So this week, I will be making a list of what I am afraid will happen if I finally succeed at getting to my goal weight.  Stay tuned.

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